Flat Hunting (2)

To balcony or Not to balcony, that is the next question.

In my head I have pictured Malgudi Days meets Tales of the City for those readers of a certain age. Fairy lights adorning a little balcony, with wrought iron railings, packed with mismatched plant pots with all sorts of plants and flowers, a cacophony of colours and fragrances. There's a mosquito candle thing on a bistro table with chairs and the table has a couple of random plant pots on as well. Simon's description would be "a right mess", and did I mention fairy lights? And the view would be of Mumbai in all its glory in the middle to far distance with a near view overlooking green lush gardens, just a few floors up so you can watch the picture perfect odourless street scenes below.

Let's call that the aspiration.

The reality is:

1. View from the balcony. Of the back of another building, less than a 100 yards from you with the filthiest Aircon units. "Yes Madam, it is an office only".

An aside on the different meaning of the word "only" between Londoners and Mumbaikers. Let's take the sentence "I am in the office 5 days only" as said by a Mumbaiker. Londoner thinks maybe some people are in 6 or 7 days but this person only does 5 or perhaps works from home on the 6th day or, more sadly, this person does nothing else in their life on those 5 days than come in to the office. What is actually meant is "I come into the office 5 days a week, full stop"

So the person showing me round the flat is telling me that the building I will be staring at on this balcony every day is an office building, full stop.

2. Windy City. "If we open the doors to the balcony we cannot cook in the kitchen because the gas goes out only"

3. "Less than 14 floors mosquitos Madam, up here there are no mosquitos"

4. "More than 20 floors then noise Madam, down here is no noise"

Apparently this is a true phenomena, that you get more street noise on higher floors than lower floors around high rise buildings due to eddying.

And work colleagues are also intrigued by my obsession with a balcony or gallery as some of them call it. They know that in a couple of weeks time it will be too hot, and then too humid, and in a few months too wet to get any joy of a balcony.

But for now it remains firmly on the nice-to-have list.